Being Content but Dreaming Big

One of the reasons I started this blog was to help me figure out "what's next." At the beginning of 2010 I knew I wanted to do two things: graduate from school, and get married.

Granted, I had technically just graduated that December (2009), but I graduated early, and in Vocal Performance that's almost unheard of (side note: I wasn't trying to graduate on purpose, I just happened to take a lot of classes/overload during my freshman and sophomore years, and when I realized my junior year that I could complete a semester early and thus save a little money, I decided to work my ass off and do just that. I faced a lot of obstacles and had to petition (what felt like) everything I did [there was also a mix-up with the graduation program, cap and gown information; they still had me down for a May graduation even though I filed for December, so I found out three days before the ceremony that I couldn't walk. I was upset at the time, but now I don't even think about it]) so until I got my diploma in the mail, I did not consider myself a graduate.

At the beginning of 2010 I didn't think much about life after getting married - not that I wasn't concerned with my future, it simply wasn't the focus of my time and mental energy (pulling off a wedding with some crazy family dynamics while living 1,000 miles away took up the majority of those categories). I knew that I had a job as a nanny for at least a year, and hoped that B would be able to get a full-time job (which he did!), and knew that we'd live happily ever after. I didn't anticipate feeling anxious that I didn't know what I wanted to 'be when I grew up', or feeling frustrated that I couldn't tell what my 'big life passions' were. I just felt depressed, lost, in a seemingly never-ending fog.

I was lucky that B understood what I was (am) going through, as he went through his 'existential crisis,' if you will, a few years ago. His support, love, and challenges to remain content yet continue being creative have helped me immeasurably. Another thing that has helped me has been the blog Makeunder My Life, written by Jess Constable (here in Chicago!!). I've been recently introduced to her blog through one of the other blogs I read, and have been in love since the first post I came across. I felt like she was talking right to me about me! She has a page dedicated to the Best of MML and it was there when I found 'the post.' I was glazing over the post titles when I saw "What to do when you don't know your purpose yet." ! ! !  People actually talk about this?! I'm not the Only One?!!! Click on the link to get the full idea of what Jess is talking about, but in a few words at the top of the post it says "When you find yourself  lost in the dark...start feeling around." I LOVED that! The whole post I just kept saying "Yes! Yes! Yes!" to myself! It was exactly what I needed to hear. Listen to your gut, pay attention to yourself and what you're feeling, and be okay with waiting for the answer. I felt like she was saying "Yes, Sarah, you are in a time of transition in your life and it's okay to be waiting right now. Keep feeling around in the dark, and eventually the answer will come, and everything will be brought to light." And that, my friends, felt so good.

Check out Jess' blog, and also her incredible jewelery business Jess LC. She has no idea I'm writing this (or have any idea who I am. That's a little creepy, when you come to think about it, but hopefully she won't think that), so obviously I'm not being compensated to write a thing. I just wanted to pass it along so if someone else is stuck in a life rut, they know they're not alone and there are genuinely good people out there who want to help them, like Jess.

To close, I want to showcase one of Jess' necklaces that I am OBSESSING over:

It's from her Franklin collection, and it is Braille for 'Dream Bigger.' You can find the necklace and product info here.

Valentine's Day Dinner

Happy belated Valentine's Day! I hope you all had a relaxing and love-filled day like mine! B and I aren't really into doing a whole lot for Valentine's Day, but in the past we normally stay in and make a fancy dinner together. Last year we had pan-seared scallops with linguine and a creamy white wine sauce. It was utterly delicious! This year I was feeling a little less inspired (or perhaps, a little more busy and a lot more tired) and I was craving our homemade pizza. Luckily, B was happy to oblige (you see, I make the dough, and sometimes the sauce, but he does everything else concerning the pizza) so last night we made our specialty - The vL Pizza Extraordinaire!

Sorry for the less-than-ideal picture, but my phone was all I had on me!

The recipe is based off of Smitten Kitchen's Updated Pizza, but instead of a small, thin-crust pizza, this makes a hearty, thick (almost foccacia-like) dough that's perfectly flavored. For the sauce, I stick to what Deb has beneath her pizza recipe (I'll blend it if I'm feeling fancy and I want a smoother sauce), but when I don't have 30 minutes to whip it up (or am just lazy, like last night) we'll use a traditional pasta sauce, lightly spread across the dough.

The vL Pizza Extraordinaire

Dough:
1 1/2 C warm water
1/2 C white wine (we use Charles Shaw White Zinfandel)
2 tbsp active dry yeast
1/4 C olive oil
1 tbsp table salt
2 tsp honey
6 C flour
Corn meal

In a large bowl, whisk warm water, wine, and yeast until yeast is dissolved. Add oil, salt and honey and whisk until well blended. Add flour, and with one hand gently incorporate the wet and dry ingredients until the dough is mostly together in a shaggy lump. Then, dump the dough onto a lightly floured surface and, using two hands, knead together for a few minutes until smooth and slightly tacky (Alternatively, you can mix the ingredients in a stand mixer with the whisk attachment for the first two steps, and switch to the dough hook when you add the flour and knead on medium-high speed for two minutes or so, until the dough is smooth).

Clean the bowl you made the dough in (or get another large bowl) and lightly oil it. Add the smooth dough back to the bowl and cover with plastic wrap. Put it in the fridge and allow it to rise for approximately 8 hours. An hour before you want to make the pizza, move the dough from the fridge into the oven (or a warm, draft-free space) and bring it back to room temperature.

Preheat the oven to the highest setting (after you take out the dough, of course). Dust your pizza tray/stone with corn meal (or, alternatively, once you have shaped the dough you can lightly dust the underside of the dough with it) and shape the pizza on a floured surface until flat and round (feel free to use a rolling pin to help you get to the desired thickness and size). Put the pizza dough onto the pan (or stone) --WITHOUT SAUCE AND TOPPINGS -and bake for 6 to 9 minutes - what you're looking for is the dough to get a little puffy and baked, and LIGHTLY golden. When it reaches that golden good spot, take it out of the oven and let it stand for a minute or so, and then add the sauce (just a little bit, you don't want the cheese to swim) and top with your favorite toppings. We do: sauce, pepperoni, and a shredded mozzarella/cheddar cheese blend, and top it off with some dried herbs and a little grated parmesean. You don't want to go real heavy on the toppings because then the dough will get soggy (but par-baking the dough kind of helps with this), but a couple of ounces of your favorite topping should be fine.

Add the pizza back to the oven and bake for another 7 to 12 minutes, checking at 7 minutes for done-ness (the pizza dough will be a darker golden color, the cheese and bits of topping will have melted or slightly charred (my favorite!). Remove from the oven and allow for it to stand for 2-5 minutes to cool before cutting (otherwise the cheese will go everywhere). Enjoy!!!!

If you make it - let me know what you think!

A more formal introduction

Perhaps not 'formal' formal, per say, but just a little bit more about who I am and my little world here.

I'm Sarah, and I was married this past May to my darling B. We added to our little family a couple months after that by adopting our adorable and eccentric cat Rowsdower. To learn more about her quirky name and how to pronounce it, click here. Yes, we named our petite tuxedo cat after a burly Canadian man, but we have to say, it fits! She's such a funny little cat; she loves to lick you like a dog, especially when you pet her, she will come when called, and she loves to engage in conversation. Maybe one day we'll get it on video and I'll share it here. For now, here's a picture of her sleeping belly-up.

I went to college for music, majoring in Vocal Performance, but I haven't done a whole lot of it since then, and it's been a welcomed break. Music will always be a huge part of my life, but it's been nice to slow down and learn something different. By day, I'm a nanny for two wonderful families in my neighborhood. I am truly, truly lucky. You may hear me mention T-dubs and Little Miss here and there, as they provide great entertainment and are the most precious children. Here's a little peek of what I get to enjoy every day:

B is a writer, and a fantastic one at that. We received the news last week that three of his pieces will be published soon! They will be his first articles and stories to be published, and we are very excited and proud.

Rows, B and myself live in a quaint little corner apartment in a tucked-away neighborhood in northern Chicago. We feel lucky to have such an incredible location, but there are a bunch of little things about it that make living there not the most desirable. There's about 8 or 9 layers deep of paint (even on the door nobs and and security chain) that have begun to peel and crack as the old building settles more into it's foundation. We also have an oven that's about 30 years past it's prime and never holds a steady temperature (only mildly aggravating to an amateur baker). So this spring we will begin the hunt for a new abode. We would like to stay in our neighborhood (even on the same street - ridiculous, I know) but upgrade a bit in terms of, well, everything. Newer or recently renovated...you know the drill. We want to find somewhere that we can settle in for the next couple of years. I'd like to be able to have more freedom to decorate, paint and potentially change cosmetic things, so we'll see! I'll keep you updated when we start the search.

I'll leave you with a picture I adore, courtesy of Little Girl, Big City (a fantastic blog/tumblr, which I highly recommend visiting). I wish this was where I awoke this morning, but alas, I did not.

xx,

svl